Fanfiction: Know You All Over Again; Chapter 13

Summary:
It had been a while since Korn finally moved out of their shared flat. Knock knew that it was the right decision after everything that happened.
And he was fine. Honestly, he was doing good. He didn’t miss the other man at all. Not one tiny bit… Honestly, not at all…

Couple:
Korn/Knock (Bad Romance, Together With Me; Max/Tul)

Word Count:
66103

Language:
English

Status:
Completed

Know You All Over Again: Chapter Thirteen

Soft voices out of somewhere wake me slowly up. It’s like a murmur in the far and I am trying to shake away the last remainders of my sleep so that I finally can understand what it’s happening.

I am rubbing my hands over my eyes and slowly my senses are coming back to me. I am just looking around and I am still in my bedroom. I can see a faint light coming through the curtains and I assume it must be some time around lunch time?

I am struggling a bit up, trying to get into a more seating position. But my ringing ears and the spinning head are quickly telling me that they don’t agree with my idea at all. I fall back into my pillow and close my eyes again.

At least the murmur from somewhere starts to make sense. It’s coming from the living room. It’s Korn and he is talking to someone. Of course, Yiwah.

“How are you holding up?” My ears suddenly prick up and I even try to hold me breath just not miss anything.

“I am fine.” Korn’s voice sounds a lot but not fine. He sounds sad, I notice with a strange sense of detachment. My brain is still spinning round and round and all I can do is try to stay quiet and listen.

“Korn!” Looks like Yiway agrees with my analysis of the situation. A loud sigh follows and I can even see his face in front of my eyes. He looks the way he always does when he is exhausted…

“I… I… I just don’t know. This time that I spend with him is just making me see more and more things clear and it scares me.” I can suddenly feel a lump growing in my throat. Of course he realises something.

How much of a failure I am. What a huge idiot and child I am.

“I finally understand why he doesn’t want me back and it tears me apart.” His voice just sounds so tired, but the words don’t make much sense to me.

I don’t want him back? But I want him back.

I touch my forehead to see if my brain is still where it’s suppose to be. I surprisingly can’t feel my brain, but I can feel my forehead and it’s burning hot. Hm, since when do I have a fever? I lowly chuckle to myself. Fever…

“I mean, Yiwah, you don’t get how angry and hurt I am about this whole guy thing. I hate that he slept with someone else and I would love to kill that person with my bare hands. I honestly can feel so much anger and hurt in me, I have enough excess energy to keep a whole town afloat for a week.” I can hear Yiwah’s low giggle in the background and I am still trying to wrap my head around, what he is saying.

He is hurt? He is angry? Oh, how surprising. Of course would he be angry and hurt. He is the king of fucking jealousy.

No one is even allowed to look at me funny because I am the king of infidelity and even fuck any random girl in a public bathroom…. My sarcasm tastes bitter on my tongue and I can feel my heart getting more heavy with every passing second.

“I can’t even begin to imagine how he must felt about Pete. And it just honestly kills me. I mean, he believed we would get married. We would have a future together. He even came out to his parents. He changed his whole life just for me. Just because he loved me. And what did I do? I mistrusted him, never believed in him and in the end was the one cheating on him.”

“While he did everything to ensure our future, I killed it. I did it at the exact moment he made his biggest sacrifice for me. You will never understand how bad I feel about that. I am such an asshole. I wouldn’t take me back either….”

His voice is getting lower and lower and I can feel more wetness on my face. I touch my forehead and again it’s scorching hot and wet. I feel my cheeks and they are also wet. I am searching for the reason. It’s not sweat. Oh, I am crying…

I wipe away the tears that are falling from both eyes. I have no clue why.

Because he finally understands why you can’t be with him. He finally gets it…

It’s like a bright flash going through the haze that is my brain right now.

He understands… He knows…

It’s like a bright neonsign in my brain.

He knows. He understands.

And suddenly I can feel a warm feeling inside my chest. I smile and fall back down into my pillow again. He understands…

But for some reason the big lump in my throat is still not going away. It just seems to get bigger by the minute and I can start to taste a bitter liquid in my mouth. It starts at the back of my tongue. At both backsides. I am just there feeling things happen, but it seems I can’t react.

My legs and arms are starting to hurt really bad. The longer I am awake the worse I feel. It’s a weird kind of pressure on my bones, my muscles. I just don’t know what all this is.

Until I know it.

I can taste the first bits of bile coming up my throat when I am already out of the bed. I am stumbling more then running, but I make it all the way to the loo without accidents. I let myself fall in front of the toilet and before I even have a chance to brace myself I am already retching, chocking…

The light is getting switched on behind me and while I just lay my head on the cold porcelain of the bathroom wall, Korn comes in. I don’t even have to turn around. I just know. I know by the way he walks…

I am pretty amused by that thought and I am chuckling again. I feel two arms around my shoulders. I am getting dragged up but I refuse to leave this heavenly cold tile. It soothes my roasting head. It’s good. And I am so tired. So, so tired. I just want to sleep.

“Shit. Yiwah. I need your help.”

My brain is just so clouded and foggy. Just here and there I notice some bits and pieces. Some leaves in a wind.

“Oh my god. What happened to him?”

Why is this woman so upset? Who scared her? She shouldn’t be scared, I think and chuckle all over again. I can still feel the arms on my shoulders. Now a hand is grabbing gently my head. But its warm. I don’t want warm. I groan a bit and try to wrestle my head away from the hot fire of that hand. But to no avail.

“His fever has gone through the roof. Shit. I don’t think he actually knows where he is. Knock?”

Huh, someone calls me? Who? Why? I am here… Hello… I am here… I can feel more darkness swirling around my head.

“Knock, can you hear me? Knock?”

The voice gets more desperate and somehow it makes the darkness disappear a bit. It’s like some rays of light in a big fat winter storm. I try to open my eyes, but it’s just not working. Let’s try it with talking then.

“I am here. I am here.” Hey, it worked.

I smile satisfied about my own achievement, but my head is so heavy. I just let it fall again, but before I can hit the tiles, a hand is in between the coolness and my head.

“Hey, careful, Babe.”

Hmmm, Babe. I am feeling all tingly and warm again. Babe… That’s what he called me. Like when it’s just us… when it’s just… I smile again.

“Well, at least he looks happy.”

Yiwah’s voice quips up in the back while two strong arms are still trying to get me back onto my feet.

“Don’t stand there like the Queen of Sheba. Move your backside here and help me get him back to bed.”

Queen of Sheba. Korn is so funny. I just can’t get enough of his humour. I just can’t get enough of him point blank. I love him so much… I need him so much…

I can feel myself getting manhandled back into the bedroom. Before I get shoved back into the pillows, someone takes of my wet shirt. They sit me down and put something in my mouth. There is water coming afterwards and I just swallow.

I am not even sure what I am doing here, but I just fall back into the fluffyness of my bed and close my eyes again. I am so tired. So tired and so hot. Korn really needs to turn up the AC. Stupid Korn. Stupid, caring Korn. Caring Korn… Korn… Korn…

And with these thoughts my brain finally finds the off switch to this madness of a fever dream.

The next time I wake up I feel slightly better. My mind is still jumbled but at least I can open my eyes again and the room also has stopped spinning like crazy. I carefully reach over to the bedside table and of course there is a full glass of water. I grip it tightly and take a deep gulp. The liquid feels strange in my stomach. I can feel a grumbling and I notice that I am for the first time in how long actually hungry.

With still slow and somehow unsure movements I am making my way out of the bed. I am looking around and of course there is a fresh pair of pyjama bottoms on the dresser. I just grab them and with shaky steps I finally manage to get the fabric over my hips.

I step out of the bedroom just to find Korn on the couch. A quick look onto the clock shows me that it’s four in the afternoon. Korn always loved to have a short nap after lunch. Looks like said nap took a bit overtime today.

I smile a tiny bit and with soundless steps I am making my way over to him. I sit down on the back of my heels and just look into his face. A thought out of my deep fever dream from this morning just invades my head.

He knows. He understands.

Slowly, almost like sand going through a sand clock, I can remember more and more of the conversation I overheard. And the more I remember, the happier I feel.

He has finally understood why I was so upset. Yes, it was about the cheating. Of course it was about the cheating. My man had sex with another man and I am just angry about all the other shit he pulled? Hell, no. I am angry about everything.

But what Korn never understood, was that everything is connected. His cheating, his jealousy, his disloyalty. I honestly never thought he would ever get that. I really thought he would believe until the end of time that I didn’t want him back because he cheated on me. For him to honestly understand the bigger picture makes me so, so happy.

I observe his face closely. He is pale as always, but there are some dark shadows under his eyes and he really needs to shave again But he is still one of the most prettiest and gorgeous creatures I have ever met. I gently take my hand and carefully stroke over his cheek, mirroring his movements from yesterday night. It’s so soft, yet all stubbly and manly. I honestly can’t tell you anything that I love as much as I love this man. He is wonderful..

He is slightly stirring in his sleep and I can see him crinkling with his nose slightly. Korn is so adorable when he sleeps. I bite my lips while I just gently rush over his warm mouth. Before he even has a chance to fully wake up, I am back on my feet and sit down in the chair next to the sofa.

Once he notices that I am awake, Korn is suddenly wide awake as well. He just throws his legs off the sofa and looks at me closely.

“How are you doing?” He is studying me face.

“Better.” I say honestly. The relief on his face is fantastic.

“Do you want anything to eat?” He is ready to jump up at my every wimp.

“What day is it today?” A thought suddenly flashs through my mind.

“Hm, it’s Monday.” Shit. Work.

“God, I need to call them. I need to tell them that I am sick or something.” I am trying to jump up, but Korn just gently grabs my arm and pulls me down again.

“Don’t worry about anything. I have settled everything.” He smiles and suddenly my stomach is cramping like mad again… I just stare at him.

“I have called your company and told them that you are having the flu. I also got a couple of days of from my company. So I can stay here with you. Look after you.” He is gently stroking my hand but all I can do is gape at the hand like some weird insect.

“Why did you do that?” I can see the confusion in his face.

“What do you mean?” The pressure in my stomach is rising.

“Why did you do all this? Call my company, take days off and caring for me like that. Why are you doing this? I am not your responsibility anymore.” I look at him with curiosity.

It feels like my brain is still not completely back where it belongs. The lingering fever must still kick my mental capacities ass. But for some weird reason I really want to hear the answer.

“You will always be my responsibility.” He says in a low voice and it somehow ticks me off.

“Who ever asked you for any of that. I am actually a grown up and I can do these things all by myself if I have to.” I don’t even know where these words are coming from, but to my surprise Korn just stays on the couch, still smiling.

“I know that. Of course you are an adult who can take care of himself. I never thought any different.” I am starting to get confused again and I am not sure if I should have deep conversations at this point.

“But you always scold me. You always tell me to grow up and to be more responsible. You always nag me for this.”My mouth is again quicker then my brain it appears, but my answer is just s soft laugh.

“Why are you laughing? Is that not the one thing you hate most about me? My childish behaviour?” His fingers on my cheek startle me.

“Do you honestly believe that?” His eybrows are in knots. “Your childishness is one of the things I love most about you.” I just gape at him with an open mouth. What?

“Yes, it can drive me mad sometimes. And yes, sometimes it would be easier if you would be just a tiny bit more mature. But you are you. And you are funny, spontaneous and social. You are such a kind and loyal person. You remind me of a puppy sometimes.” I want to protest, but he just simply lays his finger on my lips.

“You are the first person I want to tell any good news, because of the way you get happy for me. You are my favourite person to hang around with, just because you always come up with these silly ideas. Stuff I would never do alone. But I do them with you and I enjoy them.” He laughs.

“Your childishness is making you this adorable guy in front of me. And I never liked spending time with anyone more then with you.” His smile is so open and honest. He shines like the sun, but it feels like I am almost burning under the heat.

“But why did you THEN cheat on me?” The tears are pricking behind my eyes and another lump has settled in my throat.

“Why was I never good enough for you?”