Summary:
It had been a while since Korn finally moved out of their shared flat. Knock knew that it was the right decision after everything that happened.
And he was fine. Honestly, he was doing good. He didn’t miss the other man at all. Not one tiny bit… Honestly, not at all…
Couple:
Korn/Knock (Bad Romance, Together With Me; Max/Tul)
Word Count:
66103
Language:
English
Status:
Completed
Know You All Over Again: Chapter Eighteen
“See, I told you. Absolutely hysteric. One could think he is actually a girl with all of his over dramatic behaviour. If you ask me you dodged a bullet there. He is not even that good, if you know what I mean.”
The smug grin on his face is really begging me to just punch him right here and now. But I am trying to keep my cool. For Knock. I smile back as nicely as I can muster up. But I am not sure if it really works.
“So, you come here often?” I ask him and it takes every ounce of self control not to go straight away for his throat.
But somehow it seems to work because Mick just slips right into the spot where Knock was just sitting a minute ago.
“Well, you could say I’m a regular.” His voice sounds so sweet now, it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“You look like you are quiet popular with the boys.” I smile at him trying to look as flirty as I can.
“Yeah, well. What can you do? If you are blessed with such a body you have to really keep them away with a stick.” Mick laughs at his own joke and I can do nothing else but clenching my fists under the table.
“But you are quiet the looker yourself, I have to say.” He wiggles a bit with his eyebrows and gives me a smile that under other circumstances might have been really sweet. But since I know what’s behind this smile…
“Thank you.” Is my short answer. But I just can’t let him go like that. I have a mission. Focus, Korn, focus.
“It seems like you are owing me something.” I add with another smile from my side. I try to look as seductive as I can, but I am almost feeling ridiculous. I am so not good in these things.
“Oh, I do? What do I owe you then?” It looks like it’s working nevertheless. Mick is trying to move a bit closer over the table and I can almost feel his breath on my skin. It makes me shudder all over.
“Well, you scared away my date. I worked an hour in him, if you know what I mean.” I try to mirror his slimy grin from before and I almost feel guilty.
But focus, this is important, Korn. This is so important. Mick just laughs gently and puts his hand onto mine. It takes every bit of self control not to swat it away like the insect that he is.
“I think I get your gist. And I also think I have a solution for that problem. I am veeeeeery versatile.” His seductive face is really begging to be punched so hard right now, but I just keep the sweetest smile I can come up with on my face and lift my left eyebrow.
“So where do you wanna go?” I can feel my heart beat increasing with every word he says.
“Hm, I can’t really leave. I am here with some friends. But I am not picky. The back alley would be good enough for me. Not sure if it’s okay with such a pretty boy like yourself though.” The last words I literally have to force out of my mouth. I honestly start to feel dirty.
“Hm, I am not really the type for a back alley. But I know a hotel just across the road where we could be in five minutes. Your friends wouldn’t even notice you are gone.”
I can feel the bile rising from my stomach. I know that hotel. It’s the one Mick took my Knock to during that fateful night. But I just smile and nod.
“Let’s go then.” I get up and without a hitch he follows.
We are not talking while leaving the place. I have to concentrate pretty hard not to let my mask of charm and smiles slip. Every step just reminds me of what Knock would have gone through during that night and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. My babe being all drunk and upset and this vile human being taking advantage of him. I am sure I never hated a person as much as I hate Mick right now.
We are going through a secluded alley when I feel it’s the right time to get things started. And no, I am not going to hit him. I made a promise after all. I am not laying even a finger on him. But there is something I need to know. For Knock, for me, for us.
“So, since you are doing this on a regular basis, what is your sexual health status?” I am asking casually, but Mick just stops in his tracks.
“Oh god, don’t tell me you are one of these health fanatics as well?” He groans and shakes his head.
“I wouldn’t call myself a health fanatic, but being save is important, don’t you think?” I am still trying my hardest to stay calm. I need to get the answer I am here for. I just need to hear these few words.
“I actually don’t care that much about these things. You would have actually been a good fit to your pretty boy from before. He almost lost the plot when we had sex, just because I didn’t use a condom. But please, isn’t that the great part about having sex with a man? Not having to worry if you get them pregnant or whatever? I just don’t get why people are freaking out about this so much. It’s plain stupid.” He is still shaking his head and I can feel the anger rushing through my body more and more.
Now it’s not even just for Knock anymore, but for all the other men who fell for this asshole and who were tricked into having unprotected sex. Yes, I am sure that some didn’t mind it and they were just stupid. But the way he is talking and the way he behaved with Knock makes it so clear, that he had unprotected sex with plenty of people. But getting angry is not solving my problem here.
“So what about HIV? Are you getting tested on a regular basis then?” I am trying to sound as innocent as I can but I know the intent look in my eyes might give me away any minute now.
“HIV? God, you need to arrive in the present day, mate. HIV is not an issue anymore. You can take some pills and everything is fine. Again people making such a big deal out of nothing. It’s treatable just like any other STD.” He laughs like I am being the stupid one here.
But his words are frightening me to my core.
“You are actually telling me right now, that you are having unprotected sex on a regular basis and you’ve never done any testing before?” I have trouble controlling my voice right now, but the anger is just flowing more freely through my body with any passing second.
I just can’t believe this man. How can he ruin so many lives without even thinking about it? It’s so disgusting, I don’t even have any words.
But instead of a proper answer I just get shrug.
“Hey, listen. You are hot, but I honestly don’t need this questioning. I can very easily find another stupid twink just like your date from before. At least they are stupid enough to just keep their mouth shut and let me fuck them without giving me a lecture on sexual health.”
He turns around and wants to go back to the club, but for some reason I just can’t let this happen. Before I know it I grab his shoulder and turn him around to face me. The reason for bringing him here, totally forgotten.
“The twink you just mentioned is actually my boyfriend of over five years. And he is a lot of things but stupid is not one of them.” I glare at him and he really has the audacity to laugh.
“Oh, now I get it. You are the jealous boyfriend. But believe me, it didn’t take much persuasion for him to come with me. And he was really into it as well. You should have heard him moaning underneath me, wriggling, being all hot and sexy. He was a decent fuck, I have to give him that.” Mick grins at me with a twinkle of evil in his eyes. My hand around his shoulder is getting tighter and tighter.
“But don’t you worry. I am not going near him again. He is too much drama. Couldn’t even take me totally in without wincing and crying. Good thing I like that. It just makes me want to go even ha….”
My fist finally connects with his jaw and the crunching sound from my knuckles against his bones is all I can hear. Blood is spraying out of his lip in an instant and I can see that his lip is split. But there is still this grin on his face. This ugly, evil grin.
Without thinking much I just throw another punch and another. I am not sure what part of his body I am hitting right now. I am not aiming at anything. I am just letting all my anger, all my worries about Knock and yes, all my jealousy run through my fists.
When I finally stop to catch my breath Mick lies on the floor. He is breathing heavily and it seems that I also got a couple of kicks in as he is holding his stomach. I have never beaten a person like this. And I know I should feel guilty right now. I have servilely injured another human. I broke my promise to Knock. But right now, all I can feel is satisfaction.
Satisfaction for all the poor guys he has done the same to.
One last time I bow down to him and take his face into my hands.
“I am just going to tell you this one time, so listen carefully. If I ever hear of you pulling a similar stunt like you did with Knock, I will come back and I will finish the job. I don’t even care if they put me in prison. Because scum like you deserve every punch, every kick.”
“And before you even think about going to the police right now, let me tell you this. The law has changed in recent years. What you did to Knock is actually considered grievous bodily harm. You infected him with some shit because you didn’t want to use a condom. He never consented to that. So it’s actually a felony, you fucking wanker. So please. By all means, go to the police and report me. But be sure that you will go down with me.” Mick just listens to me without even blinking. His eyebrow is split as well and some blood is dripping into his eye.
“I hope we have an understanding, you fucking bastard. And pray to god, that I never ever see you again. Because I honestly don’t know if next time I have the strength to stop myself.” I let his head fall back to the ground and get up.
I don’t even turn around when I march away on shaky legs.
I can’t believe I really did this. But right now there is no time to think about this. I need to find Knock. I need to make sure he is okay.
A couple of minutes later I am back in the club, but the space where the two of us were sitting just 15 minutes ago is empty. I am letting my eyes roam through the slightly fuller room but I can’t seem to find him. I am making my way through the room, but no sign of him. I can feel my heart rate go quicker again. The stares that I am getting I don’t even notice until I am catching myself in a mirror by chance. There are blood splatters all across my shirt. My hands a both coated in a red browny colour and even my face has some dabs of red.
I quickly make my way to the bathroom and try to get rid of the worst part of the bloodbath. While standing there, trying to get the stains from under my fingernails I can hear an almost silent sob coming from one of the cubicles behind me. I would recognise this sound through all the noise in the world. My heart again beats faster when I turn around and gently push open the stall door, I believe to be the one, where the noise came from.
And what I see makes my heart break again into a million pieces.
Knock, my beautiful, amazing, lovely Knock is sitting on the floor. His head is just being held up by the stall wall and he just looks so tiny and broken it makes me ache all over.
I kneel down next to him and try to wipe away some of the traces of his tears. It’s just now that he notices me. He looks up to me and the pain I can see in his puppy dog eyes is taking my breath away.
“Come on. Let me take you home, my love.” I say in the most gentle and loving voice I can come up with. He just nods weakly before I help him up to his feet. Before I can even manage to get us both out of the cubicle, Knock just sneaks his arms around my waist and pulls me close. He is still slightly shivering and all I can do it standing still and gently stroke his back.
I have no idea how long we are standing in this embrace but for some reason I just feel so awful. I had a plan. I wanted to talk to Mick about his health status, so that I hopefully would be able to tell Knock that he would be fine. Just to end this suffering here and now. I know how much Knock is worrying at the moment and it’s still two more weeks to go until the end of his Pep treatment and the final tests.
But all I managed to do was break another promise to him. It’s not like I am feeling guilty for beating this piece of human shit up. Not at all. He had it coming and he deserved every punch and every kick. But I promised Knock and just like always I broke my promise. The guilt is almost killing me.
I am so sucked into my own thoughts that I don’t even realise when the hands around my waist are going a bit further south and gently start massaging my butt. Knock’s lips are on my neck now and are leaving an almost shy trail of kisses all over it.
Shit!
“Come on, babe. Sex in a public toilet? You are way too good for that.” I whisper into his ear while trying to get us both out of the cubicle.
It takes a bit of pushing from my side, but finally I manage to get us both of the bathroom. The grumble and the pout from Knock is something I happily take. My guilty conscious is so not allowing me to do any funny business with him right now.
We are taking a cab for our way home and the whole time I am just contemplating how I can tell him the truth about what I have done. I am sure he will be so upset with me. Worried and anxious about what Mick told me about his sexual habits and so pissed off at me for beating this awful human being into a pulp.
I am biting my lips in a thoughtful manner when I suddenly have again a handful of Knock in my arms. He is snuggling so close to me and all I want to do is hold him close and protect him from this world. He is gently stroking my hands and I feel even worse. He trusted me with this and I fucked it up. The guilt inside is almost eating me up alive.
The way up to our flat is filled with silence. Knock is still holding onto my hand like I am the life ring preventing him from drowning. I know that he needs me right now. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful meeting Mick after everything must have been.
I always assumed that the sexual encounter between these two was not totally a positive experience for Knock (the whole condom thing aside), but hearing today how rough and forceful Mick was with my love just makes me ache so much more. I can’t even begin to imagine what happened in this room and I am not sure I ever want to know.
We finally arrive in our flat and I am still so deep caught up in my thoughts I do everything just like on autopilot. Getting rid of my shoes. Putting away my jacket. Going to the bathroom to freshen up. Everything is done like I have done it a million times before. I hope that I am at least appear calm on the outside because believe me when I say inside there is a storm rushing through every fibre of my being.
I finally leave the bathroom and I find Knock on the bed. He is still in his clothes from before and is fiddling with his fingers nervously.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I ask him while sitting next to him. But he doesn’t answer.
“Hey. You know you can talk to me about everything.” I nudge him slightly in his side but the reaction I get is just a sad smile.
“Do you find me disgusting?” His words hit me like a truck.
“What? Where is this coming from?” I just stutter.
“You can tell me, Korn. It’s okay. I understand. I am disgusted with myself.” His voice is so low but I can hear his sincerity in every word. He really believes what he is saying.
“Are you crazy? Of course I don’t find you disgusting. You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen.” I am taking his hands into mine and hope he can hear my sincerity as well.
“But you don’t want me anymore…” He states while his voice is just trailing out.
“What?” I am not sure I know what he is talking about. “Of course I want you, babe. I always want you.” I shake my head in confusion.
“You never touch me anymore. Yesterday you didn’t want to sleep with me and just now you slipped away again. It’s like you don’t even want to touch me anymore.” He says sadly. “I mean I can’t blame you. You have seen him. It’s just…” He stops in his tracks and before he even has the chance to continue with his nonsense I pull him into my arms and shower his hair with little kisses.
“You can be such an idiot sometimes.” I laugh lowly, but still hold him as close to myself as I can.
“I said no yesterday, because I gave you a promise. I promised you that I wouldn’t try anything until you get your results. I know that we can have safe sex right now. I actually already read up in it, you know… Just in case….” I can feel him flinch slightly in my arms, but I just caress his arms and back with so much love that I hope he can feel it.
“But I gave you a promise and I have broken so many of them in the past. So this time around I wanted to do it the proper way. I am so sorry if that made you feel unwanted. Because you are always wanted. Hell, have you any idea how hard it is to keep my hands by myself when there is this gorgeous creature sleeping next to me?” I can hear a low chuckle from the head that is comfortably nestled to my chest. I just push him a bit away so that I can see his face.
“Babe, please don’t ever think that I don’t want you. The day I don’t want you, you should call the doctor and check that I still have a pulse. Because me dying will be the only reason for me to ever stop wanting you.” I look deep into his eyes and I can see that my words are hitting the right spot. A tiny smile is appearing on his lips and it makes my heart flutter.
The tension between us is changing in a heart beat and I can see it in Knock’s face that he doesn’t want me to stick to my promise anymore. The way he smiles this tiny smile while lifting his eye brows just this tiny bit… It always makes me go all weak.
But right now, I just can’t. The guilt is still nagging on my conscious.
With a slight shake of my head I am breaking the atmosphere again and Knock’s confused face is breaking my heart.
“Knock, I need to tell you something.” I say slowly and his face is just a single question mark.
“I know you will be so disappointed in me when I am telling you. That’s why I can’t do this…” I gesture between the two of us. “I have to tell you the truth first.” I sigh.
“Okay…?” His confusion is almost palpable.
“I broke another promise I made. I know I shouldn’t have done it. It was stupid and impulsive and I am so, so sorry.” Knock’s face turns darker with every word.
“What did you do, Korn?” His voice is so serious right now. It scares me. He has every right to be pissed at me, but I just don’t want to disappoint him again.
“I.. I actually beat up Mick.” I am not able to meet his gaze. Now it’s my turn to nervously play with my fingers.
“You did what?”
Your Heart's Content 