Fanfiction: Know You All Over Again; Chapter 8

Summary:
It had been a while since Korn finally moved out of their shared flat. Knock knew that it was the right decision after everything that happened.
And he was fine. Honestly, he was doing good. He didn’t miss the other man at all. Not one tiny bit… Honestly, not at all…

Couple:
Korn/Knock (Bad Romance, Together With Me; Max/Tul)

Word Count:
66103

Language:
English

Status:
Completed

Know You All Over Again: Chapter Eight

The ringing of my mobile is cruelly ripping me out of my dreams. I yawn and fumble for my phone that must be somewhere here between my sheets. The sound is so shrill and loud, it almost splits my head into two.

Yes, it might also be the amount of alcohol I consumed yesterday night. But after Knock fled the bar last night as if he had seen a ghost, there was nothing else for me left to do. Just tequila and the miserable feeling in my stomach that I have done something wrong all over again….

I finally find my phone and the name that keeps on flashing over the display is making my heart race.

“Knock?” I answer.

“Korn? Korn! Is that you?” His voice is shaking badly and suddenly I am wide awake.

“I know, I shouldn’t call you. But I just don’t know what to do, who else to call… I just…” A sob escaped his throat and I know he is crying.

“Calm down, Knock. I hardly can hear you. What’s happened?” I am trying to get more information out of the crying mess on the other end of the line.

“I need your help. I did something incredible stupid…” My heart stops for a second and a cold shower is running down my spine.

“What did you do?” I ask in a low voice and I can feel panic getting hold of my heart.

“I.. I…” He tries to speak but somehow he can’t get the words out.

“Where are you?” I ask instead and am already out of my bed. I need to see him. I need to be with him and protect him from whatever just happened.

“I am…” He stops again and it’s clear that he has a hard time talking right now. His voice is so low, it’s almost a whisper. “I am at a hotel room in Silom…”

I stop in my tracks and feel bile rising up my stomach. A hotel room? What the fuck? In Silom of all places? I swallow my urge to ask him ten million questions.

“Send me the address and your room number via line. I will be there in half an hour.” With that I just throw my phone to the side and jump into my clothes.

My body is now fully functioning on auto pilot. But Knock called and he is in trouble. What else do you expect me to do?

My head on the other hand is completely spinning out of control. Why is he in a hotel room in Silom? Why Is he crying and what stupid thing did he do?

I swallow hard and try to concentrate on tying my shoelaces. A few minutes later I am ready to leave my sister’s flat and run downstairs waiting for the cab I somehow managed to order inbetween all this chaos.

Knock’s voice is echoing through my head once I finally sit in the cab on my way to the hotel.

“I did something incredible stupid!”

For some weird reason I think I know what he did and I really, really don’t want to be right. I lay my head against the cold glass of the cab window and close my eyes.

I am sure he hooked up with someone.

I open my eyes again and take a deep breath. Normally I would be seething with jealousy right now, but to be honest all I feel right now is worry and fear. His voice sounded so destroyed just now and…

Defeated I fall back into the seat again. I really am scared what I will find in this room. I am totally petrified.

The ride to the hotel doesn’t take long and finally I am standing in the lobby of a rather shabby looking 24 hours hotel. It’s not the place you would take your wife and again the worrying feeling in my stomach is getting worse.

There is no one at the reception, so I just walk over to the elevator. With every passing moment my heart is just beating harder and harder.

He is in this hotel. He has been hooking up with someone. Why else would he be in a hotel. But why is he so upset? Did they do something to him? Was it even a girl? Was it a boy? Were there more then two people involved?

My thoughts are running again in circles and I have to shake my head trying to somehow jumble everything into the right place.

“Focus, Korn. The only thing that is important now is Knock. He is here and he is hurt. That is the only thing that matters now.” I keep on telling myself…

It feels like an eternity until the elevator finally arrives and it takes even longer until it has brought me all the way up to the 6th floor. It’s just when I finally find the room with the right number that I stop.

Up until here my body was on autopilot, but somehow now my heart is taking over. I am so scared of what I might find at the other side of this door. But I hear again the fear in Knock’s shaky voice in my head and with a last deep breath I finally knock on the door.

I can hear footsteps coming from inside and then the door opens.

Knock stands in front of me. He has been crying, I can see that. But right now he looks more embarrassed.

“Korn.” His voice is so small and low it breaks my heart. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.” His lower lip starts shivering again and suddenly the tears are falling again. “I am so stupid. So, so stupid.” He bits his lip, trying to hide how upset he is, but I know him too well.

Without another thought I just pull him into a close embrace. Once he is in my arms the tears just seem to flow even harder. I manage to push us both gently into the room without loosing any contact with him. I kick the door shut behind us and I am just about to get us over to the bed when I notice the crumpled sheets. A small wave of nausea is rolling up my stomach and I change direction. The couch it is then.

I finally manage to sit us both down and try to calm him down as good as I can. My hands are gently stroking his back, his neck, his hair and my voice is just whispering sweet nothings into the night.

I have no idea how long we have been sitting here like this. But I don’t care. Knock is hurting and I’d do anything to make sure he is okay. He will talk when he is ready. I have all the time in the world.

“Korn?” His voice is still so low and quiet I have a hard time to even hear him.

“Yes?” Knock slowly is bringing a bit of distance between us and finally we can look into each others eyes. What I can see there shocks me, because he is petrified.

“Won’t you ask me anything?” He gulps, but I just shake my head.

“You will tell me when you are ready.” I wipe away a few of the remainders of his tears, but somehow this gentle gesture is just forcing more tears to come up.

“Please ask me…” He looks down on his hands and I give in.

“What happened, Knock? Why are you here?” I try to sound as calm as I can even though inside of me a storm is brewing.

“I met someone…” He stops and fidgets with his fingers. “I met him at GoGo Boys.” Knock adds quietly and I can feel my heart cramping together in a painful way.

GoGo Boys… Of all the gay clubs in Silom Street. The worst and shadiest of all the clubs… There are so many emotions rushing around my heart right now, but I am trying to stay quiet.

“He seemed quiet nice and… well… “ He looks shyly up to me and I can see him blush slightly. The big green eyed monster inside me is slowly waking up… I can feel it stir inside of me…

“So you ended up here?” I ask with the calmest tone I can muster up and he just nods.

“Did you have sex with him?” I press through my gritted teeth still trying to sound as calm as the ocean. But somewhere underneath a tsunami is brewing.

“Yes…” He whispers and a fresh batch of tears is falling down his cheeks.

“So where is he know?” My jealousy is still pulsing through all of my veins but something tells me that there is more to this then I can see right now.

“He left after… you know…” Knock can’t meet my eyes and is just shifting nervously on the couch.

I look at him with a confused face. What is going on here? Why did he call me? He didn’t just want to tell me he hooked up with someone. He wouldn’t be that cruel… So what is going on? Suddenly my brain is coming to an awful conclusion. My eyes widen just at the thought.

“Did he force you to do something? Did he hurt you?” My voice is louder then I intended and Knock just flinches slightly giving new food to the fire inside of me.

“No! He… Well… Somehow…” He just hides his face in his hands and I can hear him sob anew.

Suddenly all my jealousy is forgotten. I am just worried now. Worried and scared. If this guy did something to him… Another kind of fire is now rushing through my veins: Hate!

I close my eyes and try to take a deep breath. I can’t be this emotional. I have to remain calm. Knock is a mess right now and I am not helping him if I loose the plot now as well.

You need to stay calm, Korn. For his sake! I swallow dryly and my hand is going again to his back, trying to gently stroke him. But once I touch his shirt he just flinches and moves away from me.

“What did he do to you?” I whisper. I can’t take my eyes of him and I am so scared of what he is about to tell me.

“You know you can tell me anything. I won’t be mad. We are friends. I am here for you, no matter what.” And surprisingly enough I mean every word.

Knock finally looks up and our eyes meet again. It’s almost like he is searching for something in my eyes and when he can’t find it he finally starts to talk.

“When he suggested we find a hotel room I just agreed. I was a bit tipsy and… Well, never mind..” He stops his own train of thoughts. “So we ended up here and… we had sex.” He looks away again.

“After we finished I noticed that he didn’t use a condom like he said he would.” His words are like punches to my gut. I swallow and try everything in my power to stay calm.

“I am so sure he put it on when we were about to.. you know… But once he finished I could feel that something was like really wet and then I saw the unused condom on the night stand. He must have pulled it off before he…” Knock wipes his hands over his face and he just looks so exhausted.

“I asked him what this was all about and he just said that he doesn’t like to have sex with a condom and he doesn’t understand all the fuss. It’s not like he can get me pregnant or something.”

I am sure I never wanted to hurt someone as badly as I want to hurt this random guy right now. My fists are clenched so hard that I am afraid my fingernails are drawing blood. I couldn’t care less.

Knock finally is braving a side glance onto me and I am trying my damnest to look calm and collected. I am sure he is expecting me to totally freak out, to yell at him and be angry. But I just can’t. I am heartbroken. Yes. But I am heartbroken for him. I am worried and scared. But just for him… Always just for him.

“I am so sorry, Knock.” I whisper while pulling him into another embrace.

This time he is letting it happen. I softly stroke his back again and I honestly don’t know what to do. There are so many emotions inside of me right now, I am feeling like drowning.

“But that’s not all.” Knock admits quietly without moving out of my embrace. I just nod to encourage him to keep on talking.

“Afterwards when I took a shower I noticed…” He stops again and I try to coax more words out of him by just staying quiet.

“I noticed that I am bleeding… Quiet badly…” Shit!

“Babe, you need to go to the hospital.” I try to whisper as calmly as I can manage.

“I know. I just..” He stops again and moves away a tiny bit so that he can see my face. “Would you come with me?” His eyes are looking at me in the most pleading way possible and I know I won’t be able to refuse. I just nod.

“Thank you so much.” He answers and straightens up a bit. He wipes over his face again and stands up.

“Let me just go to the bathroom again and clean myself up a bit more. My face is such a mess.” He tries to chuckle, but it just sounds like another sob somehow. He tries to put a smile on his face but again it looks nothing like a smile. Without any further words he disappears inside the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

And finally I am alone…

Alone with my feelings, alone with my thoughts.

And I won’t lie. I am feeling like I am about to explode.

There are so many emotions inside of me fighting for dominance and all I can do is sit here quietly while a war is raging inside of me.

I want to kill Knock for his stupidity. How can he just go to a hotel with a random bloke he met at a bar? Why did he allow him to have sex with him? He even allowed him to top him!

The green eyed monster inside my chest is roaring so loudly I am afraid it might deafen me permanently.

But there is another emotion that is so much stronger then my jealousy. And that’s anger.

If I could get my hands on this guy I would kill him. Without a second thought. I would just slowly torture him to death for what he has done to my sweet Knock! What kind of a man does something like tat to another person?

Well, someone who has a habit of doing this on a regular basis. And suddenly all my other feelings pale in comparison to the one that is coming up now: Fear.

The way the guy pulled all of this off totally indicates that this is not the first time he has done this. Most likely it’s his spiel that he does with everybody he has random sexual encounters with. So let’s be honest. How big are the chances that this guy didn’t have any STDs? And if the sex was so rough that Knock is bleeding now? Fuck…

This is not good. This is so not good. He could have infected Knock with god knows what. HIV being obviously the worst one possible.

I can feel the bile rising again in my stomach and I have to do my hardest not to just vomit on the couch table.

How did all this happen? How did we end up in this fucking mess?

I can feel tears pricking behind my eyes but I just swallow them down.

I can’t cry right now. I can’t be angry or upset right now.

I have to be there for Knock. I have to get him through this. I have no idea how, but I will sure as hell try.

I am looking over to the bathroom door. Behind it is the love of my life. With a sad smile I notice that even this situation, the situation I was always most afraid of, him having sex with someone else, has not changed anything about that fact.

I love him. And I will be there for him, whatever he needs. It doesn’t matter how much I am hurting… This is about him. This is about making sure he is okay.

I close my eyes just for a second and take another deep breath.

I love him! He is all that matters!

When I open my eyes I take out my phone and start googling for the nearest sexual health clinic with 24 hours opening hours…